i feel like homeless woman who just ate someone's throw up

the other day jarrett sent me this link. Jonathan Harris has developed a program that scans blogs all day, everyday, for the word "feel". the program then pulls the sentence with "feel" in it and puts it on his website. you can go there and click on any dot (which represents a different feeling) and see the person's blog. actually, there is a lot more to it than that, and it's all really cool, so i would suggest you take 17 minutes out of your life to watch his presentation. unless you are too busy watching porn or something, in which case you probably aren't big on human emotion anyways, so just skip this post.

• after watching this i went to the site and there are so many sad or sappy sentences:
• i feel like i need to be in his arms to be happy.
• i feel like i am completely alone in this world.
• do you ever feel like no one understands?
• i feel my sanity slipping away.
• i feel let down, heart broken and ashamed
• i feel like the world's against me.

so there are just a few examples for ya. it's really depressing if you ask me. when i watched the presentation the other night i immediately thought that nothing from my blog would show up because i don't really think i talk about how i "feel"...but then i decided to use the wonderful alt+f feature to see just how many times i say "feel". check out the context in which i use the word. god, i might just be a heartless bitch. see for yourselves:

• if you don't like it, feel free to let off some steam by shooting me in the face.
• so, the seller is a self-proclaimed artist who feels the need to go on and on about how he sees shit in a way that other's don't.
• sexy einstein (who i will call Brad because i have a feeling he has one of those generic names that is given more than sloppy blow jobs in a frat house) cracks me up.
• so i scream when she does it, and she just responds by saying that she has to feel around and to let her know if i feel any pinching or sharp pain.
• and here is where you have the classic case of someone wanting to feel elite, or entitled, or special, or worthy.
• so if you can't find another rock to keep you fidgeting down the fucking street, don't feel like you are suddenly justified in disturbing those of us who aren't having illegitimate children and spreading AIDS faster than wildfire.
• know what's worse than leaving work because you feel like you are about to ralph and sitting in bumper to bumper traffic on college and 5th?
• okay, he's gone now and it's raining again and i am back outside and i feel like it's 1950 and i am in the COUNTRY.
• i feel like a microwaved bag of assholes
• i think you are going to blow a load in your pants, call her several times and hang up, feel stupid and finally quit contacting her, then weeks later post another listing asking for her to forgive you...after all, it's her fault for being so damn sexy.
• we go to the arby's across the street and i don't feel right.
• i am feeling stank so i drag my bag into the bathroom, change clothes and freshen up.
• i feel like we are in a cafe in epcot's version of paris.
• jarrett and i are sitting there enjoying our picks, getting disgusted by crying children, and feeling like death in motion.
• those colors are so bad they make me feel pregnant.
• I do have a job to tend to ya know, not to mention all those conversations would make me feel like I am auditioning to have the lead in some over-dramatic Lifetime original miniseries.
• She marks down my vitals and checks to see what meds I am to receive, which makes me feel better about not being able to remember the last time I got meds because this bitch doesn't even know what I am supposed to be getting

so there ya have it. i either feel like shit, or am projecting what someone else might feel...and that's not a good thing (the projecting that is). i am fully capable of "feeling", just in my own insensitive way. right now i feel like this was a wonderful way for me to kill about 45 minutes at work. i also feel that if medco doesn't let my prescription for birth control go through and stop acting like a bunch of incompetent fucktards i am going to get pregnant tonight and then sue them and become rich. how are you feeling?