oh fuck

i love to laugh. therefore, anything or anyone that makes me laugh is good in my book. this includes people that i fucking hate, like idiots. so, it's seems hypocritical at first, but it makes sense. the ability to make me laugh overrides all else. let's say you just walked up and spit in my face. you are an idiot. if you then have the ability to make me cackle, the humor that i have found in you outweighs the fact that i have your saliva slowly running down my cheek. remember that.

here are some idiots that have made me laugh in the past twenty minutes while i try to put off the inevitable (going to the bar and getting tanked, which i really shouldn't do today because i am trying to be good).

1. this is a cashew with a current bid of $105 on ebay. it's funny. what's funnier is the idiot who is selling it, and then the people who are bidding on it. so, the seller is a self-proclaimed artist who feels the need to go on and on about how he sees shit in a way that other's don't. read it because it's fucking ridiculous. it makes me laugh...just like he will on his way to the bank.

2. i have mentioned it before, but overheard in ny is currently my favorite website for killing time at work, when i could especially use a laugh at the cost of some unknowing idiot. here's one that i read today (and of course, i have to visualize everything. i can see this interaction and that makes it even better):

You're Not Getting Any Warmer, Dude
Drunk guy: Where are you from, man?

Random guy: Arizona.

Drunk guy: Arizona... Arizona, Nevada?

Random guy: No... Arizona, Arizona.

Drunk guy: Oh, but... Nevada is a section of Arizona right?

Random guy: No. Nevada is Nevada.

Drunk guy: I've been to Wisconsin.--

E Train

Overheard by: Noble Robinette

3. so this will be the third time mentioning him today, and that's a little much, but since i am on the subject of idiots who make me laugh...

sexy einstein (who i will call Brad because i have a feeling he has one of those generic names that is given more than sloppy blow jobs in a frat house) cracks me up. it's something about his delivery, or maybe just the content and not so much the delivery. or wait, maybe it's because he's crude and it's funny when people say things that most won't. no...it's not that. anyways, he's a fucking idiot who happens to be funny. what? you want an example. go find one.

4. the cops just came into my building. i know, what does that have to do with the topic at hand? nothing, but then again, i am sure they are here about some idiot, and i am sure that when they march outside with him/her i will fucking laugh my ass off.

5. here is a family of idiots that made me crack the fuck up. the parenting skills are lacking a swift right hook, the girl is lacking the ability to convincingly bullshit, the brother loves throwing out the idea of his sister taking it in the poop shoot. together they make up a team of idiots who crack me the fuck up. i just have to say, thank god myspace wasn't around when i was a teen or else my ass would have been handed to me 70 times a day.

6. ellen is on as background noise right now. her guest is brooke white. she just recently moved into the category of idiots that make me laugh after seeing this. so...you made it to the final 5, you are already famous, you are going to get a fucking record deal, and you ball like a fucking 2 year old on stage in front of a live audience? that type of unabashed display of emotions is...oh god, i can't even try. you are an idiot and your little display was fucking hilarious.