if i were a person who prayed, or knew what the fuck i was praying to, i would definitely be doing that right now. it would probably be one of those over-dramatic, 700 club- type prayers where i would get on my knees and close my eyes and talk into my hands. and i would pray for my body to be hydrated. so far this morning i have had a glass of milk, a propel, 2 glasses of water, and a grapefruit which i seriously wanted to just mash against my face and let all of my pores start sucking from.
i need a body of water. i just want all the water from every source to be splashing up against me. oh god a tidal wave would be the answer to my prayers. you could tie a cinder block to my ankle, throw me in lake superior and i could drink my way out. so what's the point of this useless post? there's not one, i am just fucking thirsty.
it's now 5 hours later. still on water. where did this unwritten rule of putting a fucking lemon on the water come from? i really would like to stab whoever came up with this shit. if you want a lemon, you should have to ask for one. it should not be assumed that you want a lemon with your water. i ordered water, not lemonade. so then, there is always a disgusting ass lemon that 18 people have touched resting on the edge of your glass, half submerged in your beverage. ew. jarrett and i just went to lunch at jock's and jill's. the water came with lemon which i immediately removed and slapped on the table. and damn if it wasn't the most perfect lemon i have ever seen. it looked like one of those fruit erasers...remember those? no? you suck. my camera phone doesn't do it justice...and i can only blame myself for no longer having my real camera around.
now it's 11 pm. i am watching the basketball game online, thanks to sexy einstein, and sucking the hell out of a popsicle as though it contains a life-saving serum. oh god...i need an IV.
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