fuck the man

not that i needed another piece of evidence that loudly screamed, "BROOKE, YOU ARE NOT MEANT FOR THE CORPORATE WORLD", but i was provided with one today anyway.

you know that interview i had the other day...the one for the position that i REALLY wanted because i am starting to loathe my job more and more each day? well i had a follow-up meeting with the interviewer today and it went something like this:

him: your experience is very impressive. you have a great worth ethic, great production, great quality. the interview went very well. you seemed very confident and provided me with ample reasons that you would be a great candidate for this position. however, the person that we went with has been here for 8 years.

me: oh, well that makes sense.

him: don't let this discourage you. there will be more opportunities available soon.

me: not discouraged...i obviously can't compete with 8 years of experience (eight years ago i was going to one class a week, using a fake id to get into bars after having already downed a 12 pack, thinking that $5 in my bank account meant that i wasn't poor, snorting ritalin like it was the new cocaine, and working 3 hours a week in order to put gas in my car-oh wait, i still had my parents' gas card then so scratch that).

him: if i could give you one piece of advice it would be that next time you interview, send the person an email afterwards thanking him/her for their time.

me: oh...that seems a little like brown-nosing to me

him: haha...well it kinda is, but that's not necessarily a bad thing

me: haha, well, yeah...i am not a brown-noser

him: when in rome....

so with that i wandered back to my cube thinking about how this is the second time an employer of mine has told me to kiss ass. and this is a second time i made it clear that i would not do so. i mean, is there no such thing as getting somewhere because you FUCKING DESERVE TO? if kissing ass is part of my job description then by all means point me to the fine print and i will either oblige or be on my way. but, if you want to give someone feedback don't let it be about the fact that they didn't put whip cream and a cherry on the tip of your dick before they sucked it.

during my last year-end review, i received similar feedback. i was once again told that i was a great employee, great performer, blah blah blah (i mean, they can't argue with the numbers), but i was told in this little session that i need to smile more. and beyond that, they said, "well, some of the people you have mentored are intimidated by you. you don't come off as a very approachable person". i responded saying, "well, i am here to work and get my job done in the most efficient and effective way possible...i am not really sure how stopping to plan coworkers' baby showers really fits into that".

oh, how naive of me to think that they would actually want someone who makes sure to be an asset to the company. that place is like walking around at a sorority party where everyone is supposed to indulge in small talk about how tan people are and celebrity gossip. one day when i was diligently at work, i am interrupted by a girl yelling, "HEATH LEDGER JUST DIED". so i say, "who the fuck is that"? you would have thought that i stabbed someone in the face and sucked their eyeballs right out of their skull.

god that place fucking sucks. but i have a feeling it's like that in most cube farms.

in related news...god doesn't exist.