knowlege is power...

so i thought i would share all the useless things i learned today.

anorexics are usually perfectionists who are obsessive, while bulimics are often impulsive. this information is apparently very important to Blue Cross Blue Shield of TN because it's the only thing you hear when they have you on hold. considering that TN is the 6th fattest state, maybe their on-hold bulletins should consist of something about not eating the WHOLE bucket of chicken and that ranch dressing is not intended for pizza.

i knew roger clemens was a steroid using liar, but did you know that he is also a pedophile? when he was 28 he began a 10 year 'affair' with a 15 year-old. this further solidifies my hatred for this man. if he weren't playing for the yankees he would be your ordinary redneck on the sex offender list. he claims there was no sexual relationship. right roger. just like you didn't shoot fucking steroids for years.

people think that getting a tan is an unexpected, unexplained, mysterious occurrence. a coworker of mine returned to the office today after her honeymoon in hawaii. guess what. she got a tan while she was there. apparently the sun shines in hawaii. and apparently, everyone assumed that she would either be indoors the entire time she was there or that she would be dressed in a kimono and wearing a huge straw hat while sprawling the beaches. i can't think of any other reason why 17 people have stopped to tell her, with a surprised tone, "wow, you got a tan!" of course, it could just be their attempt at small talk which is a concept i just can't seem to grasp.

the easy button does not work. my mom put one in my stocking last year and it sits on my desk. i have pressed it so many times today and i am still waiting for a miracle. staples can go to hell for all their false advertising (and i am not the only one who feels this way). but, it is nice to annoy the hell out of my loud ass neighbor who has lived down south for 17 years but has a death grip on her boston accent.

some people, namely my father, will believe anything they read in an email. i could send him an email saying that saturn's rings have spun out of orbit and millions of meteors are going to collide with the earth tonight around 11:47 pm and he would believe it. but he also believes the bible since it's in text, so what can i expect? the point is, if he sends me one more email full of obama propaganda i am going to disown him. i just have to wonder how i came from his seed.